Relational trauma

Relational trauma is often rooted in prolonged, interpersonal challenges in attachment relationships, such as those with parents or caregivers. Experiences of betrayal, abuse, or neglect within the context of these relationships can profoundly affect a person’s emotional well-being and experience of trust and safety. Pervasive and chronic emotional misattunement and lack of consistency and reliability in our early relationships can have and have long-term impacts on our self concept and experience in relationships throughout life.

Relational psychotherapy is a powerful and transformative approach in addressing the unconscious organizing principles that shape our sense of who we are and our sense of security in the world. By exploring formative relational dynamics and patterns, we can begin to contextualize and understand more deeply the difficulties that continue to show up in the present. By processing early emotional experiences alongside a therapist, our clients can better understand what they need to build more satisfying and healthy relationships going forward. The therapy relationship can provide a powerful context for post traumatic growth and development.

At Self and Other, we are trained in understanding how early experiences can affect emotion regulation, self esteem, and our ability to understand and meet our needs. . Our therapists emphasize a collaborative approach in therapy and we honor the wisdom, strengths, and coping strategies patients have developed and needed over time to endure difficult environments. We also recognize the mutual impact we have on each other in this work, and are open to being changed along with our clients.

The Attachment Context

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth, emphasizes the profound impact of early caregiver-child relationships on emotional and psycho-social development. In the context of abandonment, neglect, or inconsistent parenting, people can develop disrupted attachment patterns. This can include anxious, avoidant, and disorganized styles. Often, these disrupted attachment patterns lead to challenges in forming and maintaining healthy relationships.

Our work with clients involves identifying challenges in the context of early attachment and exploring how they manifest in present day relationships. Many of us have lived with attachment figures who were chronically misattuned to our experience. These pervasive, and oftentimes subtle, failures in responsiveness and consistency can significantly impact the development of our sense of being recognized, loved, and understood by others. Though these experiences typically happen early on in life, they impact our relationships well into adulthood.

Post Traumatic Growth

Self and Other clinicians help their clients explore the dynamics that shape their sense of self and ways of connecting, or disconnecting, from others. We understand that these patterns have been developed over time and in response to difficult environments. Our therapists attend to the strengths, resources, and resilience of people who have suffered trauma, and recognize that sometimes our old ways of coping may no longer be serving us.

Offering a safe and attuned relational home allows clients to understand their needs and how to meet them. Through new relational experiences, and commitment to the process, it is possible to develop new and healthier patterns of relating to yourself and others.

Part of this process is learning to establish healthy boundaries, deepen communication skills, and foster a sense of empowerment and agency. Our practice focuses on each client’s strength and capacity for growth, despite challenging circumstances. Our relational and depth approaches provide a nuanced and comprehensive framework for healing through relational repair, fostering resilience, deeper self understanding, and forging more expansive and fulfilling personal and professional relationships.